by Jeremy Berg, a member of the mammal family

Life in the hive puckered up my night The kiss of death, the embrace of life There I stand ‘neath a marquee moon. . . I ain’t waiting -Television Art Bar 722 E. Burleigh 414/372-7880 “I want to call the giant squirrel over the door ‘Pete.’ Everybody help me.” -Lovely Assistant Ambiance: Very well lit, bright and made for groups downstairs, dimmer and with smaller tables and a bar upstairs. Friendly bartenders and a comfortable space. Crowd: Artistic looking types from the 20s to the 40s, all friendly and having a good time. On Tap: Zilch. Bottles rule here. There are a number of old favorites, plus some more unusual things like chocolate stout and Moose Drool, which I’ve got to try sometime. Why didn’t I drink it then? Maybe I had secret misgivings. Maybe I had a White Russian. Top Shelf: Lots of good whiskey and vodka, plus a fair selection of gins and other things. Juke Box: Right, like the sonic aesthetic would be left to random chance. DJs, house sound, and live music only. Men’s Room: Single occupancy with a neat eggplant -colored door. There’s a very bright overhead, so you might want to watch how much you drink. Women’s Room: Lovely Assistant reports, “They have those stinkin’ faucets that you have to hold. And the light switch is to the left. Far to the left.” Additional Comments: If you’re going to call a place the Art Bar in Riverwest, you’d better bring it. I won’t even try to describe everything there, but it’s cool. Highlights include the one week painting (created on Sunday, up for a week) and the wall of dolls that spelled out “sex” at first, and now “mke.” The next show is all about four-legged things (“pet”). Bremen Cafe 901 E. Clarke St. 414/431-1932 Ambiance: Just your average coffee shop/bar/restaurant/music club/ex-magazine headquarters/art gallery. Crowd: Young and hip. On Tap: All bottles again, including Pilsner Urquell, Sierra Nevada, Louie’s Demise, New Glarus, Cattail Ale, and the only Pacifico I’ve seen in these parts so far. Top Shelf: Jim Beam, SoCo, Captain Morgan, Maker’s Mark, wine. Juke Box: I mentioned the “music club” thing, right? Otherwise, house sound ranges from Tom Waits to the Buena Vista Social Club and far beyond. Men’s Room: A sign reminds us all to wash our hands before returning to work. Women’s Room: “It looks like the paint job in Nelson Center pool in 1987 in Springfield,” reports Lovely Assistant. Additional Comments: Friendly bar staff and what might be the coolest chandelier in Milwaukee. Ah, another summer spent draped over the bar. And the best part is, there’s still a month left. Join us next month, when we host the charged political debate: “August: dog days, or drunk days?”