by Jeremy Berg

After last month’s East Side sojourn, it’s time for a return to the taverns of Riverwest. So I’m back. And it was night. So, black. Yeah. That works. Gee Willickers 2578 N. Dousman Ambience: Mad cozy. A nice small space lit mainly by Christmas lights, with dark faux-wood paneling. Crowd: A community of regulars that seems to have been established with the bar in 1985, very friendly and welcoming to us newcomers. On Tap: Miller Lite, MGD, Riverwest Stein, and Bud. Top Shelf: Jim Beam and Wild Turkey. Juke Box: Not only was there something for everyone there, there seemed to be something for anyone who might come in. Prince, Sinatra, Metallica, and various country artists stood side by side with homemade salsa and meringue compilations. Men’s Room: There was wood covering the wall over the urinal. This means that there was drunken carved graffiti. I can tell you it was there. What any of it says remains a mystery. Women’s Room: Lovely Assistant says “It’s this neon-orangey color, and I couldn’t deal with it.” Additional Comments: The light over the pool table is an enormous plastic MGD bottle in ice. Excellent! Falcon Bowl 801 E. Clarke Ambience: Party time! Bowling downstairs, darts up top, and brightly lit so you don’t bull’s-eye someone’s head. Crowd: Bikers, hipsters, mail carriers, bowling teams. . . On Tap: Four kinds of Lakefront, plus Guinness, Bass, and MGD. Top Shelf: Jameson, Captain Morgan’s, J.D., and Tanqueray. Juke Box: A lot of classic rock, but some newer specimens of the genre (e.g. David Bowie’s Heathen). Some fairly unusual stuff, too. Did anyone know Steppenwolf has a live album? Men’s Room: There was this kind of decorative woven wood basket with flowers and stuff in it on the wall of the toilet stall. Women’s Room: Lovely Assistant reports “There’s plastic plants everywhere. It’s like what Grandma’s bathroom would look like if it was in a bar. It’s really pretty.” Additional Comments: The bar is huge, and racetrack shaped. Yes, that is the extent of my additional comments for Falcon Bowl. Why? Because that’s all I can remember. Another month, another pint, another column. Join us again in May, when perhaps Milwaukee will have started to thaw a bit. Until then, stay warm. You know what makes you warm? Whiskey (this tip not endorsed by the Surgeon General).