Posted inBarhopper

Last Call

Well guys, what can I say? Lovely Assistant giveth and Lovely Assistant taketh away. I followed her to Milwaukee from that mythical land of row houses and narrow streets, the East Coast, and now I’m journeying on to that mythical land of flatness and a football team most people here would gladly rip to shreds with their bare hands if attacking a pro football player wasn’t such a great way to ensure that you’ll be drinking all of your beer through a straw for some time to come, Illinois. I’ll be sad to leave, but hey, let us not bow our heads in sorrow — let us bow them in drunkenness! One more time!

Posted inBarhopper

Beer Garden Special

“Special” makes me think of those cartoon specials I saw as a kid. You know, the ones with the ’70s graphic of the word “special” spinning at you in Technicolor with that music going, so it’s like all the cartoon characters stumble out drunk, and little kids everywhere are traumatized for the rest of their lives…wait, that’s horrible.

Posted inBarhopper

Drunk on Power … and Beer

At some point in the past, I believe I said that Barhopper was a public service. Why, I don’t know. It must have seemed like a good idea at the time, or maybe just like an idea, which, under the influence of certain ethyl compounds, is enough. But I have gone to the dark side before, and so I shall again. . .that’s right: this month’s bars were chosen solely so I could go see The Mighty Lumberhorn and eat samosas! Such power! Muwahahahahahaha. . .