Me and me second cousin, Daniel Patrick, trekked over the big pond to Grapplin City in County Sligo for the wake o’ Flanagan, our fourth-cousin, twice removed. Everyone was there, even that old fekkin’ ‘oor, Mary Babs, an’ too many tongues went a-waggin’ about her and Flanagan, not to mention most o’ the men o’ Grapplin.
Poor Flanagan met his end raycently when his end (quite lit’rally!) was repeatedly forced into a most unlikely region on a giant bear. Yes, cousin Flanagan died clinging to the rear of his good friend Brian Ballybunion’s SUV, in a tragically failed attempt ta escape the shaggy beast after it imposed itself on the boys as they war knockin’ back two or twenty bottles o’ the dark lady.
Then there was singin’, dancin’, an’ fightin’, especially after the mayor, actin’ as Flanagan’s executor, banjaxed the readin’ o’ the will. No one’s a quite certain what ol’ Flanagan meant in the writin’ o’ his will and his riddle ’twas somethin’ ta behold. Many o’ the relatives in attendance tried in a mighty way to help the ol’ mayor in the decipherin’ o’ the will (did Flanagan really want the foundin’ of Flanagan’s Fermenting Flesh on his plot o’ land?), but that only heightened me own confusion — then agin, perhaps ’twas the Guinness.
At the end o’ the night our wallets were much lighter on account o’ the expense o’ the trip an’ the beer’s not cheap in Grapplin. I think ol’ Mother Flanagan nicked me wallet, or maybe it was Father Fitzgerald who’s still gamblin’ away the parish coffers. Ta speak God’s truth, I’m not certain I got the story straight. Fer heaven’s sake, I’m not even sure that me dear old Flanagan is dead. You might venture down Miramar Theater way to see and hear fer yourself.
Flanagan’s Wake is an audience-interactive play performed at the Miramar Theatre, 2844 N. Oakland Ave., Thursdays at 8 p.m., Saturdays at 2 and 8 p.m., and Sundays at 5 p.m. For tickets, call the Miramar Box Office at 414/967-4545. Live Irish music from Milwaukee band Bantry Bay will follow the Saturday, November 8, performance and is included in the cost of the ticket. See www.themiramartheatre.com for more.